Like Sands Through The Hourglass...

Mornings are not my style. I wish I could enjoy mornings, but after thirty-three years on this Earth, I have come to accept that I will never enjoy waking up early. My husband likes to get up early to work out. Work out!? I don't even pretend I can do that. Why set myself up for failure? Working out is hard enough, why act like I'm going to be so committed to my physical regimen that I will greet the sun while sweatin to the oldies? I'm not. I will either turn off the alarm, or hit snooze for 2 hours. No, really, I will. Take this morning, for instance. I am laying in bed trying to convince myself to get up. Arguing with my body, "it will feel better once you are up", "if you get moving you will wake up"...etc. I get the kids breakfast, and Trevor tells me he doesn't want to ride the bus because no one wants to sit with him. Ok, what do you do with that? I tell him that I would be happy to take him today, in my mind, I'm thinking, that means I have to hurry up and get Sophie out of bed, I need a shower because I have to take Katie to the doctor (she was awake all night coughing a horrible cough). So off to the shower I run. While I'm in the shower, trying to do my best with only five minutes to spare, my gorgeous daughter comes hacking her way into the bathroom. "Mom, I pooped in the toilet and flushed, and now it's dripping all over the floor and the toilet bowl is really full of water". Hmmm....why didn't I stay in bed? In bed, I don't have to worry about this stuff. In bed, I can open my eyes and realize it's all a bad dream, roll over and go back to peaceful sleep. Life doesn't seem to follow my logic. Telling Katie I'll have to get it later, I speed up my already stressful bathing routine. Quickly drying off and jumping into clothes, I run into Sophie's room and wake her up. What a rude awakening she had today. She didn't get a chance to open her eyes and I'm throwing her into her car seat! Off to school we go, and I'm relieved to see about thirty other parents in the same predicament. The frantic look in their eyes as they rush their children out of the car, mirrors my own. Off he goes after giving the required amount of kissing and goodbyes. Back home the girls and I go, to our humble abode.

Eyeing the door of the bathroom, I mentally prepare myself for battle. Opening the door, I am greeted instantly with the blast of noxious odors. Looking down, I am faced with a glistening pond. Poop colored, with floating logs of caca on the side. And don't forget the twenty pounds of soggy toilet paper seaweed. The magazine basket I had sitting on the floor looked like an island battered by a feces hurricane. Specks of excremental debris stuck to the sides, the pages of the magazines crippled from the flow of water. Arming myself with towels and a bucket of bleach, I begin wading into the war. As I'm on my hands and knees, cleaning under the toilet and up the walls, I valiantly try to think of something positive. I begin praying for any optimism God can send my way, because, honestly, I hate mornings. And I don't really enjoy poop. I decided to be thankful for the fact that it was my child's bowels that I am wiping off my vanity. A year ago, that bathroom had carpet, I'm very thankful for the decision to make it a tile bathroom. And at least I have indoor plumbing, and my daughter didn't have to go outside in the frost to have her morning sit down.

An acquaintance of mine has had a very bad attitude about life lately, which is a very easy thing to do. I have a bad attitude everyday at seven a.m., but it really is true that we have to make the decision to be happy. Happiness doesn't just happen, we have to work on it. The more we grumble and complain, the more unhappiness will come our way. I have very little patience with people who moan and groan about how bad their lives are; too little money, too many bills, not enough romance, not enough attention. Most of the time I think to myself, "what are they complaining about, they've never had to deal with any kind of true tragedy". But that is a selfish way to think also. I try to let it go, and say a quick "God bless," for the person complaining. The majority of the problem with today's society is the amount of self-serving attitudes and the expectation that they are "owed" something. What makes people think that they deserve this or that, just because? Jesus had to "bear his cross" and so do we. Cleaning up poop in the morning isn't exactly a glamorous life, but at least I have three children here that I have to clean up after. I don't have to attend a funeral today for one of my children. I don't have to decide which child I am going to feed today due to lack of opportunities to supply basic staples. I don't have to wake up this morning and cover my head with a wig from losing my hair in chemo, or God forbid my childs head.

So for anyone who is out their bemoaning their lives. Wake up!!! Change your circumstance. If you can't change your circumstances, change your attitude! I'm not trying to be hoity toity, and I'm not trying to preach. I'm just saying. I have been in some dark places. Places that I pray none of you have to be. And I've had many days that I thought my life was horrible, and I didn't see any light at the end of my tunnel. But there always is. Time has a way of offering a perspective that we may not have seen in previous times. I always tell myself "just keep on keepin on" . In my worst moments, I have had to pray for God to get me through the next day, or the next hour, and even the next minute. I know some of you reading this don't believe in my God, and that's is your prerogative, but I do. And I know that my life wouldn't have continued as it has without Him. But even if you don't believe in a Higher Power, you can at least believe in yourself. If you are unhappy about your weight, put down the brownie and go for a walk. If you are unhappy in your marriage, sit down and talk it out. If you are unhappy where you live, move, or at least paint a room in your house to make it look different. Change your perspective, and you may be surprised where it leads you!

So as I continue on in this soap opera I call life, I aim to look for a glimmer of light in every situation. I will at least try to hold onto my sense of humor so I can find laughter in any event, especially poopy ponds.

My goal today is to laugh. My dream tomorrow is to live. My intention for eternity is to love.